Is it difficult to have orgasms on HRT ?
- There are a lot of questions related to sex and HRT, one of the major concerns that we have is often about whether we will have trouble getting an orgasm after we start our hormone therapy. Dr Camiel Welling explains further.
Will it be painful to have an orgasm?
Yes, we will have some difficulties because after taking HRT we don’t get a hard erection. This means that getting an erection becomes tough but even if we get an erection we won’t get as hard as we used to. So it depends on if we want to have sex and if an erection is necessary for having sex.
What kind of sex do you want to have?
The erection’s importance depends on each of us to know what kind of sex we like and if we like sex at all. Additionally, not all of us want a vaginoplasty in the future. So everyone’s experience of sexuality is different and it does not have to do anything with an erection and a penis.
What happens during an orgasm?
For an orgasm, we would need the sensitive skin of the penis where the orgasm happens. And if you are born with a penis then the sensitive skin is the tip of the penIs. This is the most sensitive part and this is where the orgasm takes place. But if your erections decrease and you aren’t getting as hard as you used to then the blood flow to this area decreases and the sensitivity decreases too. This would mean that it takes more time to orgasm. The research that has happened on orgasm and sex people is not a lot in the medical field compared to the other fields of research, which are very less. And when it comes to trans and gender diverse people then it is even lesser. The majority of research is only experience reports in which some questionnaires prompt us to tell us more about ourselves. But most transwomen report that the time between orgasm and arousal is a lot more after starting hormones. Before this, it used to take some time but now the time that it takes has increased from 7 to 10 minutes. So this doesn’t mean that the orgasm would not happen just that it will take some time to happen. This happens with cis people as well where women take more time to orgasm. But the good news in cis men is that the orgasm lasts for 2 to 10 seconds while for cis women it lasts for 20 to 35 seconds. So when you start hormones then orgasm can feel different- you won’t feel the high intensity that you used to but the short orgasm will now last longer like it happens with cis-women. So the extra 7 minutes bring in something else with it.
So is the orgasm different?
Yes, the duration is different and its strength is different as well as the intensity in addition for people the softness in the skin and its sensitivity also change. So the pleasure will be different so it will feel different. And the awareness will happen that sex is not just about your genitals but is a full-body experience. It comes with sensations for the whole body and how you feel or what you are thinking about. This changes how you experience sex as well as orgasm. So when you have insecurities and doubts about your body then there is a problem in relaxing. You need a partner who accepts your body and celebrates it so that you can enjoy yourself. It also becomes easier to relax. And if sexually active and relaxation seems difficult to you then it might be the state of mind that you are in because of hormones as well as transition. This can cause a lot of stress while getting intimate with someone. Even staying connected with your body seems scary. Maybe you aren’t liking your body in the beginning. Because of the hormones, you are resistant to accepting your body and that is a journey that you have to take so that you are comfortable and your emotions are also in line with that. But if you don’t feel comfortable then that can lead to a lot of shame or uncertainty.
How can I feel comfort in my body?
You can work on it yourself or along with a loved one who you are intimate with. Comfort is important in achieving an orgasm. Orgasm is a full-body experience.
Sex is very diverse. If you feel comfortable then you can easily go with the flow and you can easily go into that zone. But sometimes there is tension which puts a question mark on your sexuality. And it is scary to talk about this, especially for those of us who are gender diverse.
Trans people also face sexualisation which means that when there are questions people say that they do not want to have sex. Because thinking about that is also a lot of work. And the shame that we feel exists on many levels, it’s a lot of work. And the shame about sex happens in all age groups. But if you decide to talk about it then you can enhance your sex life and enjoy it.