Please do not take this personally, I have my personal general view for similar cases.
Real case is not your hair, it's you came out to her and seems she is not ready to accept you in that personality.
Mtf or ftm, you supposed to decide before marriage. now you need to first get your partner in confidence and once she agrees then after you can plan your further journey.
If she doesn't agree, you need to get free from this relationship legally, with taking care of your partner's future as it's because of your sudden move relationship may suffer.
I believe you to Go ahead responsibly and discuss with your partner on every aspects. If she gets ready to walk with you then your life will be heaven on earth.