Transgenie Alright...so It was Dr. Manjari Deshpande in the beginning whom me and my wife had consulted for a solution. Prior to my visit, I had briefed her that I have gender dysphoria which has been confirmed by several psychiatrists in the past, however, I would want to meet along with my wife to come to a logical conclusion between us whether how to take this further. After 2 hrs long session that she had with us (1 hr 25 mins with me and the rest with my wife) she concluded and tried to counsel my wife about it. Also she prescribed me a medicine for Depression. She asked us to follow up after 10 days. After 10 days, she directed us to Dr. Neha Shah, who is a Psychiatrist as well as a Psychotherapist. She specializes in Gender Dysphoria. She started with my Session first. Before I start with what happened then I would also like to add some points about my relationship with my wife and my parents. As I think few of us here may be suffering from the same troubles already. My family has never been supportive towards me. I have two elder sisters and I got married at 33 which was only because of two reasons, 1) Family pressure & 2) Fighting back gender dysphoria. Both of these reasons, turned out to be the primary cause of the depression that I am suffering from at the moment. Dr. Neha, not only helps in living with Gender Dysphoria, Transition and GID certificate but also, she helps to bind the family together with the patient (in case if that is possible). My wife and me have had sex just 15 times in the last 4 yrs of the marriage. Lucky me, she is not fond of sex because it is difficult for me to even kiss a girl as I am a girl myself from within. Besides, she is a very aggressive person and is in rage through out the day. She has not been able to get along with my parents ever (even my parents are responsible for that). My parents are typically very conservative and believe highly in fake family values. My life has been a mess and full of depression since marriage, more than ever it was before my marriage.
It was me first, in session with Dr. Neha, whom I had briefed and mentioned that the primary reason for visiting her is about my wife and not me. I have already accepted myself but it is her(my wife) who needs a little help. However, for her (Dr Neha's) self assurance she wanted me to express myself about the thoughts that I get and that since when have I started feeling like that. I told her that it has been happening right from the age when I started to explore my sexuality (around 12 - 13 yo). And that, while watching any romantic songs I have always visualized myself to be the girl in it and not the man. She asked me some bold questions about my sexuality, fantasies and preferences. I must tell you that any psychiatrists or doctors are highly professional and I believe that we must be extremely honest and open to them unless which they won't be able to help us with anything. Opening up to my wife and taking her to two psychiatrists is what I would call as the first step towards my transition. After I was done with expressing all my feelings and thoughts and even instances from the past, she asked me if I have a name that I have ever thought for my womanhood self....and I said "Riya"... 🙂 .. She asked me whether how would I want her to address me...by my sex name or by my identity name (i.e. by the name I have been known so far or by the name I have always been wanting to be known) ...i was a bit hesitant so I left it as an option for her...she asked me again...and asked me to be open and fearless....I said..."please call me riya and address me as a woman but please don't tell it to my wife as she will be terrified". She told me that between a Male and a Female as either Sex, Gender or Identity, there lies a HUGE SPECTRUM (thanks to orange for posting a video on it recently). Then she said "So Riya, now let me present you the options out of which you can choose whether how to take your life ahead." .....for the first time in my life...some body called me by the name...which I have kept of me... for the first time in my life...i felt like a bird flying so high in the sky...i almost cried...i was so happy the woman inside of me had smiled for the first time ever... it still gives me goosebumps... She told me that SRS is an option and not mandatory, so is HRT...it depends upon every individual whether how one wants to live... Some are happy with just cross dressing and being addressed as a woman, which is difficult as the world identifies you by your sex and not the identity which you actually belong. Some want to go further and have HRT to look like a woman, known as a woman and being addressed as a woman..while some want to have a complete transformation.... she asked me whether how would I prefer to go about it...and I didn't think even for a moment and said "the third option"...I want to be a complete woman..I know I am gonna be infertile...but then there are many CIS women who are infertile as well... I am not happy with this body because I see a stranger standing in front of me when I look into the mirror...She concluded it...she asked me if I would want to have GID certificate. Although being ready for it, I asked her advise whether I should really go for it now?...she said...."let us why not cure the depression first? let us why not first put things in place between you and your wife? so that you also have a support while moving ahead with it....there is no harm in trying...if we fail, then be it separation but will make sure that you both have a future and happy living ahead. Later she took a session with my wife, then called me in after 30 mins and concluded that we must follow some rules as we both got diagnosed for anxiety and depression, while my wife being more towards anxiety and me being more towards depression which is not the right time for us to decide anything related to gender dysphoria as our brain isn't making a right decision but thinking emotionally. So as of now we shall be continuing with her medicines for 10 days, and then will be seeing her again. After 10 days, she will have a session alone with my wife to understand her theories about our future and then will guide me further about transiting. 🙂 (sorry I stretched it a little long)