Relationship with cis gf

alostsoul

I identify myself as a guy in a female's body and haven't started transitioning. I have a cis gf. we are together since 4 years approx and she knows about my GID. She says that she supports me but can't fight with her family if they get against me after SRS. Well thats fine bcoz we can make efforts afterwards to persuade them. the problem is that she never understands my dysphoria. whenevr i have a breakdown she says its all fake and drama and i am doing this to blame her and to push her into guilt. today i had a major breakdown and she said i am doing drama and started laughing at me. anxiously i slapped her bcoz the breakdown started bcoz of her n when i was crying badly she was playing games in her phone and not even once she tried to console me or show love rather she stated all that as drama. i was devasted after all this. i don't know what to do. i feel like breaking up but i dont want to be alone bcoz i dont have my family support and sometimes i feel that she love me but i have given a lot of chances to her and honestly speaking even i had screwd up sometimes. pls suggest what to do.

Peace

alostsoul educate her about trans dysphoria? If she doesn't understand even after you've opened your heart out to her then it's not a healthy relationship.
If someone slapped me I would never talk to them again.. so you're lucky to have this girl if she's still talking. But that might be even clearer sign that relationship is dependent on attachment rather than love and respect.
I think it's very important to have supportive environment especially when you're feeling down, and if this girl has issues of her own then it might be better for you both to take a break.
Sorry for being so blunt, I'm just giving my 2c from the info you've provided. Take care I hope you find good and supportive environment promptly. ?

swapna

@alostsoul to be honest, ditch her. DO IT. Here's my reasonings
-> She's not empathetic, even to her bf.
-> She makes fun of you, instead she should have been understanding or atleast tried to understand what you are going through

But before you do, maybe you can take @Peace 's advice and try to educate her, take her to your doctor and all ? and then decide
Take care brother <3

[deleted]

alostsoul What is the Sexual orientation of your girl friend ?? Does she identify as a gay girl or bisexual or a Cis straight girl ?? I'm asking this because I have seen many Trans male YouTubers had break up with their girl friends after they came out as trans and started transitioning. Because mostly their girl friends were Cis gay girls only interested in women and when their boyfriends started transitioning to male with progress, their girl friends started to loose interest in them and eventually broke up stating the cause that they aren't attracted to male attributes or men as a whole. Sometimes they promised they will stay after transition but left their boyfriends in the middle of their transition, completely alone, without any support. Most girls then question their sexual orientation and sometimes cannot accept the fact that their orientation has changed and thus break up with their boyfriends.
Because most of our families aren't supportive of transition ( atleast mine is super duper unsupportive ) , so most of us have to go through this journey alone. And leaving their boyfriends at the middle of transition is far more worse situation than leaving them at the start. So that he already knows that he has to go through this journey alone.

That's why I asked what's her sexuality, cause often this doesn't seem to but in reality actually becomes an issue that leads to parting ways
????

swapna

[deleted] :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

alostsoul

[deleted] she is straight. she had two relationships with boys before me.

alostsoul

Peace yes i tried to educate her by sending youtube links about transguys but she said she can't understand much and she said she don't want anyone to teach here how to handle her bf. Idk she is some kind of wierd. she was fine earlier but nowdays she behaves very aggresively and when i say she has changed then she says that you only made me like this. you only made me bad by continueosly changing. i told her that after identifying myself as a transguy i am changing gradually. i am becoming more manly in the way i think and react but she is not ok with it. she says that u r not the person i fell in love with etc etc. i tried to tell her all about GID n stuff but she never understands. but she always says she will be with me. we sorted that fight out. i didnt talk to her she herself came to me and firstly she said in anger so i ignored her. then she told me that she was very hurt when i slapped her so i told that i was too hurt. then she slapped me tightly to make me feel what it is to get slapped this hard. i was angry and hurt but didnt wanna increase the matter so i started crying and then she also started crying n said sorry. idk that i forgived her actually or not but i said that its ok. i cant ditch her man. she wont let me go. swapna

Peace

> alostsoul . i am becoming more manly in the way i think and react but she is not ok with it.

What does this even mean lol. I'm sorry dude you are stereotyping.
Sorry I might be wrong but I think you haven't given proper expression to your dysphoria. Dysphoria is unique to everybody, your feelings are unique and no one can understand how you feel by some other person's video?
It's not good to have breakdowns, you need coping mechanisms. You need to figure out exactly how and why you feel low and then find methods to work against that. It requires a lot of introspection. Once you know what your dysphoria is about, then you can clearly express it to this girl and if she cares she will 100% understand. But the onus is on you to give expression to your dysphoria.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh. Emotions aren't easy but you need to be brutally honest to at least your own self or else how will you be happy.

alostsoul

Peace even i dont what that mean but those are her words. she thinks that i am getting that MCP mentality. its just that i have anger issues sometimes and by breakdowns i didnt mean that i have that all the time but its just tough to deal with my body and also family problems so when i hve been strong for too long then for once i need to cry my heart out. its the way i am n i dont think its wrong in any way.

alostsoul

Anyway, thank you all for your suggestions. Everything is fine now. ?

swapna

@alostsoul yay! :3